breathe

today i hope for tomorrows breath,
once I resurface after swimming
from my dreams to yours,
breathing through your lungs,
stealing memories, ones
I could never own.

---

[this was a free write in gotpoetry.com’s tag-team-poem project , the first line isn’t mine, its from hotstuff]

pen pals

I found you in this mailbox
when my hand reached
inside to look for a laugh,
little did I know that
when I pulled you out,
you tickled my heart
so much, I just had to
keep you

stitch

At the mental seams
you and I were conceived,
(stitched from the rags
of empty arms)
souls joined at the hips,
grinding against each other’s need
to be. Above the bed lay
its parallel line (contract, horizon,
point of rest) where slept
the discovery that you and I
were not supposed to meet
in this illusion of a future woven
into our past-entangled arms.

---

[this was a free write in gotpoetry.com’s tag-team-poem project where one posts a poem and the next poster in the topic has to start the next poem with the last line of the previous poem…and so on, and so on… in short, the first line isn’t mine hehe…from Tekay]

Te Amo

I watch myself move
from place to place, leaving footprints
that gradually disappear- languages,
learned and unlearned in a span
of ahello, muli bwanji? and au revoir, leaving
only remnants at the backs of old photos.

And even those images fade, lost
somewhere between my growing up
from suplada[ to maulawon to this quiet
wariness of one tired of being redefined
every time I translate my memories, tired
of dropping friends as often as I did my R’s.

So when I found out you spoke spanish,
in a Mexican drawl you found I didn’t care to learn,
you brought your lips to mine, in a silence
that became my personal rosetta stone
etching this memory and those yet to be born:
ones where I found myself

whisper between kisses
“Ndimakukonda…je t’aime…mahal kita…”
in a flawless translation
of how you taught me to love:
with everything
I am.

In white

summer wedding bells
veil the laughing bride in lace
white as straightjackets

*my first haiku! woohoo

 

Bittersweet

I lie languid,
staring at ceilings,
taking comfort
in a box of
chocolate
hearts
that look like
up-ended butts:
full and smooth
until
it is snapped
across the middle,
raining sweet
jagged pieces
into my mouth,
dissolving
like aspirin
and scarring
my tongue.

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Questions and Answers

 

 

For on Dialogues.

Questions and Answers

You sat with me
under the sky-clad heaven
and I asked
if stars can be reincarnated
You laughed at my curiosity
and we blamed the world
for not knowing the answer:

I laughed and
found you
laughing with me.

I longed
to sit beside you
behind the moon
and find out how long
its shadow is
a little longer,
in some places , perhaps.
But I know we could do
without such questions.

I think I’ve had
a little too much
to drink.
And now stripped
of certainty, I am a child again
who grew up to fast
finding myself dizzy,
with slurred heart-confessions:

I laughed and
found you
laughing with me.

Behind the smoke
you exhaled and
the soul I inhaled,
we kissed,
tracing the beginning
of each contact
and I wonder
whether my lips
meant something more.

You wake me
from dreams
of chasing equal signs
making me realize
that reality is of two wholes
in a plane of acceptance.
My heart beats fast
to find yours
in the same incongruent sync:

I laughed and
found you
laughing with me.

I search with lips,
with tongue for
answers that might be
found under a blanket of skin,
on a bed of grass,
in a perfect equation.

Morning streaks
through the leaves
delivering a new-born star
making darkness irrelevant
because after all,

I laughed
and
found
you.

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Trespass

You left the lights on again…

I tread through
the floor that doubled
as your closet space,
carefully weaving
my way through the
empty coke bottles
and scratched CDs
you buy everyday.

My foot grazed
a stack of worn books
you taught me to read
and I tripped,
landing on the carpet
I took hours to pick
only to be patterned
by cigarette burns.

I lay still
staring at the
signed poster of
our favorite band
before pulling myself up
on the bedpost
you normally hung
the cap I gave you.

I sat on the bed
and stroked the stain
that you attempted
to get rid of
countless times
with bleach that
only ended up
wrinkling your hands.

I stood up
and approached
the switch,
longing to touch it,
remembering all the times
I disturbed your sleep
and begged you
to do it for me.

Instead I turned
and retraced my path,
resisting the urge
to leave a sign
of my trespass,
even if it was just
a simple act of
switching the lights off.

For you.

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Warmth

Tonight I wonder if there
are stars out there
behind a gloomy sky
that stretches toward me
like the distant wail of
a street child seeking
warmth from the night air.

I wait patiently for you,
for your smile to break
through the clouds like
sunbeams streaking
through my skin,
taking away the
chill in my bones.

But for now, I close my eyes,
imagining yours that sparkle
much more than any star,
lighting up at the thought
of me while you cover yourself
with this blanket of words
I am sending you.

In your shade

 

I am a nomad–
running barefoot
on cracked earth,
chased by shadows within shadows
blood seeping across the sky,
harbinger of midnights winds
holding frozen knives at my throat.

You are a tree–
your branches vessels
cupping dreams of me
cradled in your shade,
my final resting place
where I can collapse at your feet,
slowly dying

to be planted by your side.

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Rax notes:

this was originally entitled Shade of my Heart,
and was inspired by Robert Jordan’s Wheel of Time series-
specifically the Aiel people and how they consider death
more of a lover or a friend than a feared enemy.

Reach

 

You took my heart
and rubbed it clean
with your sleeve,
erasing its scars by
inhaling my soul and
blowing out the sadness
into the air.

I am sun kissed when you
catch me creeping around
the border of shadows,
tugging me away with
the kind of amusement
a child earns when caught
with hand in cookie jars.

Yet I am still incomplete,
broken in places your warmth
has not been able to mend.
Maybe this time I’ll reach further
for your outstretched hand
so you don’t have to come
down to get me every time.

Really, I’ll try harder,
because I know…
I can love you much better than this.

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Stab[bed]

I came with the violence of last night,
where we wrestled
on a crime-scene bed,
limbs entangling
underneath the sheets
in a tug-of-war with
the half-ripped clothes
we couldn’t wait to take off.

The fingerprint bruises
digging into your back
must’ve been my revenge
for how you pinned me down
and sliced my lips open
with your tongue,
muffling my cries
that begged you to

stab me
again
and again
and again,
charging my body with
multiple counts of ecstasy,
fracturing my voice
into whimpers as you

continue to beat me
into the sated stillness
of a moonless night,
perfect for covering up
your crime by carrying
my limp body and
burying it
in your arms.

 

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